I Remember
by aijikia
Summary: Zero remembers the day his mother left him at Laney Park. One-shot.


A/N: Hey, how about that? A nice little Zero-centric fic that takes place when he is nine years old. I've always wanted to write a fic when Zero remembers the day his mother left him at Laney Park. And here it is! I hope you Zero lovers enjoy this fic and you non-Zero lovers do too! Hehehe. 

Disclaimer: All belongs to Louis Sachar, none to me.

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_"I never liked it when she left. I had a stuffed animal, a little giraffe, and I'd hug it the whole time she was gone. When I got bigger I was allowed to stay in bigger areas...But even then, I still held Jaffy. And then one day she didn't come back. I waited for her at __Laney__Park__." -- Zero_

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I Remember

I remember it very well, like it just happened yesterday. The spring morning was humid and warm; the sun had not risen and the dark alley I was walking in with my mother was more foreboding than during the day. I didn't like that alley, the alley that I walked in many times before. The alley was very well known for its violent crimes and drug users who staggered around muttering to themselves because they had no sense of reality. 

The streets were littered with cigarette buds and trash; the smell of dirty bodies and waste was overwhelming. I always had to keep my nose covered whenever I strayed in the alley. The ground was covered with slime and grease, and it used to be gray but now was stained black from all the cigarettes fumes. The brick walls the alley laid between was crumbling and had graffiti written in English and Spanish in a variety of colors.

I held Jaffy closer to my chest and squeezed my mother's hand, hoping for comfort. The alley scared me and even though I have walked in it many times before, even though I had never been attacked, even though I knew all the lines and cracks on the walls and ground, the alley scared me more than anything. I have always begged mother for us not to return to the alley, that we could always find another route to the park, but she insisted that we must go through the alley. 

I knew why, even though I wished not to think it. I always hoped mother would notice my fright so she wouldn't come back to the alley, for both of our sakes. But she always did, with me coming along. And I knew why, even though I wish not to think about it. I especially could not speak it, not tell her that it bothered me even more than the alley did. I wished to do so, but how can I if I shudder to think of it? How could I if I didn't have any courage?

A moan beside me shook me out of my thoughts. Scared, I held onto my mother's arm tightly, looking to the side to see a haggard man lying on his side. His eyes were glassy and blood-shot; his hair lay like wires on top of his head. His face was unshaven and red; many wrinkles were crinkled beneath his eyes. Those red eyes were staring at me, almost as if it were looking through me. It seemed like it had no idea that I was there, like I was just some ghost that could not be seen. A shiver ran through my spine and I could almost hear my heart beat. 

I halted in place, scared stiff. He moaned again and tried to stand up, but as he did so he started swaying drunkenly. I cried out as his legs wiggled beneath him, unable to carry him, he fell face down on the slime covered ground. My heart was beating very fast and I noticed that my breathing had increased. _He scared me!_ Even though I had seen many drunkards around the alley, none had ever looked at me. I hadn't realized I had halted until mother started tugging at my arm. 

"Come sweetie," she whispered. Her voice was very hoarse, she rarely could raise it. "Let's get going." I nodded and we started walking again.

It wasn't until a few more moments until we reached the destination. Not the park, but the place mother would always visit on her way there. We stood in front of a black door that was slightly ajar. Mother reached out and knocked on the pealing paint and the door almost widen from the force of the impact. "Who's there?" A gruff voice called within. 

"It's me, Joe," mother said, she tried to raise her voice but it barely grew from a whisper. Footsteps could be heard then the door opened to reveal a short middle age man with a greasy mustache. His eyes were hard and weary and it glared at my mother with such intensity it made her flinch. I held closely on to her, watching her eyes as they expanded, showing dark depths to the fullest. 

"Do you have it?" Her voice cracked at the very end of the question and she ended up in a coughing fit. Alarmed, I clapped her back in hopes it would help relieve the coughs. She didn't stop until a few moments later with tears in her eyes. All the while, Joe continued to stare at her without moving. 

I began to feel frightened. I didn't know this man for I have never seen him before and the look he gives to my mother doesn't help matters any. He wasn't the usual man that was always behind this door. _What happened to him?_

"Joe, where is it?" mother chocked out. Surprised, I stared at "Joe" who was now slipping behind the door but still held that intense look in his eyes. I looked at my mother who now held a calm look about her face; her mouth was set into a determined line and her eyes stared at the closed door without blinking. _Mother knew him?_

A few minutes had passed and all the while I could hear the wind beating against the buildings. No wind came into the alley for the buildings protected it, but I knew a storm was coming soon. With wind like that, what else would it be? 

I kept glancing at mother while tightening my hold on her. I was afraid that I may be holding a bit tight, but I couldn't help it. Mother was really scaring me. She hadn't once blinked since Joe slipped inside the building and she didn't seem to realize I was even there.

The door opened without warning and I jumped in surprise as Joe's head peeked out and glared at mother. I looked at her in hope that she had showed any reaction but was disappointed to see her in the same stance as before. Joe grunted and held out something for mother, almost shoving it in her face. He looked very angry and I could see a vein pulse on his forehead. 

"Here," he grunted, waving the whatever in his hand. Mother didn't even blink as she slowly reached out for the thing and placed it in her jean pocket. 

She turned away from the door. "Let's go, Hector." Relieved at the fact she was now acting normal, I hurried along with her and I wasn't surprised as I felt eyes on my retreating back. Shuddering, I tightened my hold on mother. 

Once we were out of the alley, the first thing I noticed was the harsh winds that blew my hair and clothes, and I tightened my hold on Jaffy in fear that he would blow away with the wind. My hair whipped into my eyes, causing me to close them and unable to see. I had to rely on mother to guide us for I didn't know the way without seeing even though I had walked to this park many times before. 

Finally mother stopped me and gave me a hug. She told me, like many times before, to wait in the park for her, and like many times before I did.

I crawled into the enclosed slide so it would block out the harsh winds and rain that began to fall from the sky. Frightened, I held Jaffy close and listened to the howling and moaning, hoping a tornado would not come and take me away. I did not know how long the storm lasted or how long I have been waiting for I had fallen asleep, stiff as a board from fright. 

When I awoke, I could hear laughter and footsteps on the stairs. Then I heard a cry, "Look out below!" and felt a body slam into me. Gasping, I accidentally let go of Jaffy and saw him slide down through the opening of the slide. I allowed myself to follow and blinked when bright sunlight blinded me. I held a hand over my eyes and picked Jaffy from the ground. He was covered in sand so I whipped it away with my shirt.

I heard a thump behind me and turned around. A small boy of about four sat on the sandy ground in front of the slide. He got up and brushed the sand off of his clothes. He looked at me and smiled. 

"Hey, that was fun! I'm going to do it again!" And so he did. He climbed up the stairs, and once he reached the top he said, "Look out below!" and thrust himself into the slide. There were a lot of bangs and laughter from the slide and the boy emerged from the opening and landed on his bottom. 

"Ouch!" He gasped, but I was surprised to hear laughter burst out of his mouth. "I'm going to do it again!" He said. 

I watched him go up the stairs and down the slide...up the stairs and down the slide...up the stairs and down the slide. I didn't count how many times he had done this for I was momentarily shocked. It was very interesting to watch the little boy have fun on a slide. It looked like he had the grandest time of his life. I wondered if I had ever thought a slide could be so much fun or if I had ever laughed so carefree liked he did. I probably did, once. When I was younger. 

The thought just made me feel older than my nine years. I know that I do act differently than most kids my age. I have watched them as I waited for mother, watched them laugh and play sports with their friends. I would wonder if I had ever done that, if I have ever had a friend. But I thought that if I did have a friend that I would remember him, right?

The small boy landed on his bottom for who knows how many times and finally seemed to notice me. He stood up and brushed off the sand, then looked at me, and I was surprised to see his eyes sparkling. They were literally sparkling. I never knew that eyes could sparkle like that since most of the eyes that I see seem to be glassy, tired, weary, blood-shot, or stern. I have seen sparkly eyes in cartoons, but never thought a real person's eyes could sparkle. 

But here was a small boy who was looking at me with...I don't know... kindness? Yes, it was kindness and it made his eyes sparkle. Mother had looked at me with kindness too, but her eyes were always tired and weary.

"Do you want to play with me?" The boy asked. I didn't notice, but my mouth had hit the sandy ground. Not literally, of course, but it was hanging open with shock. _He wanted to play with me. ME? Out of all the people in the park, he wanted to play with me? It didn't make sense! Why me?_

As I was fighting a silent battle the boy began to get very nervous. He kicked at the ground with his toe and clasped his hands. 

"It's okay," he said softly, "you don't have to play with me." But I did want to play with him because no one has ever asked me before. And he seemed real nice, not someone who was just playing a joke with me like so many have done before. I wanted to say "yes" but my mouth was glued. I opened it, and then tried to say something, but only a squeak came out. The boy jumped in surprise. 

"Sean!" A voice called out behind me. I turned around to see a pretty woman walking toward me. She stopped and looked at something behind me. "Sean," she said again, "let's go!"

"All right Mom!" The little boy replied. He ran to his mother and she gave him a hug and then they walked away without a backward glance. I felt a pang in my chest and wondered when mother would get here. I looked around the park and decided it must be in the afternoon. I had slept through the morning. Mother would probably come at night, like she usually did. I felt my stomach grumble and sighed. I hope she has some food...

I sat on the bench and watched kids as they played on the swings and slides. Once evening came, the park was emptier and I began to wonder where mother was. She usually came back by now. By the time the street lamps came on and the sun had disappeared, I began to get worried. _Where was she?_ _She never comes this late._

And yet, I was tired so I decided to go in the slide for a much needed sleep. I knew the slide would protect me from any strangers that came by the park looking for fresh meat. I laid my head against the plastic whatever the slide was made of and held Jaffy closer to me. Bugs of all kinds could be heard around me and I thought I heard a frog croak somewhere to my right. I closed my eyes and fell asleep almost instantly.

The next day, I sat on the same bench as before and waited for mother to come. I was extremely hungry for I haven't eaten at all yesterday or today and now my stomach was grumbling in anger. But I didn't dare go and find something to eat. I was afraid that if I left the spot, mother would come and not find me here then leave. Yes, I know it was a silly thought that if mother didn't find me here she would leave, but the fear was in me all the same. So, I didn't leave. 

It was the same the next day...and the next day. By the time a week had past I was extremely hungry and scared. The only food I have eaten was food from the garbage or what was left on the ground. And I was very scared...for mother. I tried not to think about all the awful things that could have happened to her but my mind had such a vivid imagination and I continually wondered if she wasn't dead as I sat at the bench. 

That thought alone sent a chill through my body that had me gasping for breath. My body would start shaking and I had to convince myself that mother was alright, that she wasn't dead somewhere in an alley with wide, unseeing eyes. I also began having horrible nightmares of mother screaming and I would wake up breathless and crying out for help, only to realize I was just in the slide.

Weeks and weeks had passed by but I still didn't leave the park. My body begged for better food than the stuff I stole from the garbage cans but I still held the fear that mother would come back if I left, so I stayed watching kids as the played around, smiling. 

I couldn't help but feel a little jealous as I watched them having fun with their parents. Once, someone was having a birthday party and the kids invited me to join them, but once one of their parents saw me with my wild hair and dirty clothes she told me to go away. 

Feeling torn, I just sat at the bench and hoped for mother to come that day. But she never did come that day. Nor the next day...nor the next week...and after a month had passed I began to wonder if I would ever see mother again. 

End

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